Now don’t get me wrong, I love being my own boss. This is what I have waited for all my life, I think. When you have been raised under the poverty line you do everything you can to make sure that when you finally get to be an adult that you never dip below that line again.
Thus has been my goal throughout my life. I think when you add children into the mix it becomes a serious goal. Reaching my 30s-40s it seemed like the stuff I had gave me status in my mind. I had a house, garage, 2 cars, a kid, nice stuff. I must have made it somehow. Certainly better than my parents did, I thought, in my mind. As I am moving out of my 40s and soon into the big 5-0 I realized that I had it all wrong. As a person with an innate entrepreneurial spirit, you are always wanting more, and it isn’t more stuff. That isn’t what does it. It’s more meaning and purpose in your life that turns the motor on. I realized this when I buried my parents 7 months and 10 days apart. All their stuff, their memories, prized possessions now became scrutinized by everyone and their purpose in life became increasingly more obscured. What were they here for. Surely this pile of old clothes and pots and pans didn’t tell that story.
So I began my journey into business ownership because I wanted my purpose in life to be more important than what the money from a “job” got me. Oh I won’t lie, when the business isn’t doing well all I am thinking about is what am I going to have to give up or what am I going to lose, my house, my car, all of it. But yet I still get up and I still try and find new ways to get my business name and purpose out there, I’m not giving up the spirit that drives me, that innate entrepreneurial spirit that has taken hold of me and made me the mad woman I am today.
I love running the show, I love being my own boss, I love what I do for the first time. Is it scary…HELL TO THE YEAH! But it’s my rules, my vision, my choice. I’ve got some great support and one hell of a marketing director and we are going to make it. And for the first time in decades my back brain is not saying “you should be doing something else, this isn’t you”. You don’t know how long I have wanted to quiet that voice. I think he’s finally speechless for a while.